


Broken Promise

by Laevateinn



Series: SPN's Season 13 codas [6]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Cas takes care of the family but not of himself, Castiel Has Self-Worth Issues (Supernatural), Castiel's POV, Dean Says Yes, Episode: s13e23 Let the Good Times Roll, Fanfiction Gap, That scene with Cas at the end broke me, season 13, season 13 finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-29
Updated: 2019-09-29
Packaged: 2020-11-07 14:37:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20818955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laevateinn/pseuds/Laevateinn
Summary: The memory of the strange sensation from earlier came back. He couldn’t feel the longing. Castiel couldn’t feel Dean’s lingering longing for the first time in years.A look at what happens between the moment when Dean negotiates with Michael until Sam and Jack come back.





	Broken Promise

“What if you had your sword ?”

No. Castiel looked up. He hadn’t heard this. Dean could not possibly consider this route. “Dean. No” The hunter didn’t acknowledge him, and even advanced towards Michael. “I am your sword. Your perfect vessel. With me, you'd be stronger than you've ever been."

“Oh, I know what you are.” And yet he had wanted Dean to be his first kill in this world ?

“If we work together, can we beat Lucifer?”

“Dean” Cas tried again, without result.

“Can we?!”

“We'd have a chance.”

This was a repetition of eight years ago. Dean on the brick of saying yes to Michael, Castiel the only thing between the hunter and a stupid decision. “Dean, you can't.” The hunter finally turned to look at him.

“Lucifer has Sam. He has Jack. Cas, I don't have a choice!” The angel could hear all the anger, fear and despair Dean usually tried to hide. The hunter was right but this was Michael. He had destroyed his own world and would do the same thing here. And Dean… he would certainly not come back from this. Surely he knew that. Cas wanted to speak again, but Dean had already turned back to Michael.

“If we do this, it's a one-time deal. I'm in charge. You're the engine, but I'm behind the wheel. Understand?” As if the archangel would accept that. Or respect the deal. Dean was so blinded by fear that he couldn’t see the truth, or the smirk the archangel sported.

“Dean don’t do this. Please.” He tried again, desperate.

“You have a deal.”

As soon as Michael agreed, Dean walked back to Castiel.

“Please don’t do this.” The angel knew he had almost no chance, yet he felt the need to protest. He couldn't stay passive. Maybe at one point his words would penetrate this thick skull of Dean's. “He won't respect the deal.”

“I have to believe he will.”

Castiel had to try another angle. “And if he doesn't?”

“We hopefully will be rid of Lucifer, and Sam and Jack will be alive.” If Michael didn't kill them as well.

“And if they die too ?” That made the hunter pause.

“I have to try.” A small crack in his resolve.

“Have you thought about what will happen _after_, if Michael doesn't respect your deal ? He will be at full power, or close to.” And without any angel to counter him. They might even help him, if only to maintain power in heaven.

“I'm sure you all will figure something out.”

“How ? We tried to kill Lucifer for months, when he wasn't even at full power, and failed.”

“The family wasn't complete.” Oh, he was a pighead. “Dean” the angel hissed, anger rising. His friend frowned, closed his eyes, then re opened them a little calmer.

“Look. I know it's far from won, but Jack hurt him. He's weaker, so I should be able to fight against him.” “And how will you beat Lucifer if he's not powerful enough ?”

“Dammit Cas !” Dean snapped. “I don’t like it either but I have one possibility to save them both, and I will take it ! I’m sorry but you won’t make me change my mind.”

The angel felt his face crumble at the same time his will of fight did. Memories from a few years ago rushed to his mind. A graveyard, under an atmosphere with a dying sun. Celestial family problems once again, Dean about to pay for it all, alone. A desperate hug. _I could go with you_. Dean who refuses, asks him to take care of Sam once he’s gone.

Castiel was jolted back to reality by a hand cupping his jaw. Then a hot pair of lips descended on his own and made him forget the situation at hand. It didn’t last, because he could feel everything Dean couldn’t express verbally. He returned the kiss with the same passion and tried to convey everything he felt for the hunter.

Dean took a step back, connected their foreheads then spoke with a trembling voice.

“I will come back, Castiel. I promise you.”

This time it was the angel who attracted the other in a much softer kiss.

“You’d better.”

Dean ran a thumb down his cheek, smiled sadly, then stepped back. Eyes hardening with resolve, walking towards Michael. “I’m ready.” 

A second passed, when Michael presumably asked permission to Dean, then a single yes resonated in the air, like a strike of thunder.

Blue white light erupted from Michael's now old vessel, as his essence flew into the air. Dean opened his mouth and the energy rushed into him. It was done. Michael was in possession of Dean's body. Another wave of defeat and despair hit the angel. Dean -or Michael, for the moment he didn't know- opened his eyes and looked at Castiel. With a soft smile, he walked towards the angel. It was Dean then. "See ? I'm in command." That was good, but maybe temporary only. A bright smile illuminated his face. “I almost had forgotten how beautiful you really are, Cas.”

The angel didn’t have time to answer, before Dean reiterated his promise and flew out.

Castiel sat on the floor for what felt like hours, waiting alone in the war room. At some point, Mary and apocalypse Bobby came back. He remembered looking at them with watery eyes, and upon seeing their interrogative faces, shaking slightly his head. To say what exactly, he didn’t know, but that made them leave the room to go in the kitchen. After that, he stayed alone with his thoughts. Some things he had started processing those last few weeks came back in mind. He thought about the version of himself he had killed in the alternative world. Wondering if it had been not meeting <strike>Dean </strike>the Winchesters, or one too many reprograming from Naomi that led him to that. It had frightened him, seeing the madness in the other’s eyes, the pain he had inflicted on the alternate Charlie. A similar if lesser pain he himself had inflicted on their captive only hours before that.

Then his thoughts shifted on the angels, almost extinct. Castiel had been supposed to bring Gabriel back to Heaven, to help. And now his brother was dead. The only trustworthy archangel had died again, killed by an alternate version of his brother in another universe.

Another universe where Sam had died. Brought back by Lucifer quickly after that, but that didn’t change that fact. Yet another failure. What good of an angel was Castiel if he couldn’t even protect his friends from vampires ? Or anything else, he thought, but quickly pushed it away. He couldn’t think of that now.

At least they had gotten Jack and Mary back. Well, no, even this wasn’t true. Jack had been taken, along with Sam. Better stop this train of thought here.

Suddenly, Castiel heard the door of the bunker open. Still numb, he didn’t react immediately. He was only standing up when his eyes caught sight of a white pair of shoes. He looked up to see Jack standing in front of him, bloody. Relief coursed through him and he hugged tight the young boy. After a few seconds, the Nephilim gasped, which made Castiel retreat.

“You’re hurt”, he realised. Jack nodded slightly, looking down and Castiel put a hand on his cheek, healing him in the process.

A tall figure appeared behind the boy, and Cas let out another sight of relief. He healed Sam then hugged him. He was so glad they were both well. But he couldn’t help but glance at the door every two seconds, waiting for someone else to step into the bunker. Sam finally caught his eye and shook his head from left to right.

"I see." Castiel had been right, Michael hadn't respected the deal. And Dean broken his promise. Not that Cas would resent him that. He had been battling against an archangel after all. Castiel remembered his time with Lucifer, and he had been an angel. The seraph had known it was a long shot, but there had been a glimmer of hope when Dean had left.

Now… He would take care of their little family, if he could. That’s what Dean would want. Keep the family together, and hopefully find a way to help Heaven.

Later that day, after they had informed friends of the situation, Castiel left the group that was in the library and headed to the corridor in a daze. He passed Dean’s room with a sharp tug to his chest, and continued towards his own. Bare, save for a handful of pictures on the nightstand the brothers had insisted he should put. They had said it had been grand time he put a bit of personality in this bedroom, even if he didn’t sleep. That it should be a place where the angel could feel safe in. So he had chosen pictures with the Winchesters, Claire, one particular spot in the forest around the bunker that brought him peace, a picture with Jack that the Nephilim had insisted they take a week ago. And there was a picture of Dean and himself, taken in between two crises in a moment of relaxation. The hunter had been laughing at a comment Castiel had just made, and put his arm around his shoulders. Sam had caught the soft and amused look on the angel’s face.

Seeing the picture brought a new pang of sadness and helplessness, and Castiel lay down on his bed. Aside from his current feelings about the situation, there was something else bothering him. After a moment, it clicked. It was like… a piece of him was missing. And it was true, he realised, thinking of it consciously. The memory of the strange sensation from earlier came back. He couldn’t feel the longing. Castiel couldn’t feel Dean’s lingering longing for the first time in years. The realisation brought tears to his eyes and a new wave of despair.

Castiel stayed in his room until the next morning, not moving an inch.

When he finally came out, it was to head to the kitchen where he knew Sam would head not so long after. He started making coffee for everyone in the bunker, and took out groceries from the fridge. He was far from being a good cook, but the Winchesters had showed him how to prepare basic meals a few times. Castiel hadn’t been able to prevent Dean from saying yes, but he could take care of the rest of the family for as long as they needed him. So he prepared breakfast.

The next days, he helped Jack fully acclimate to his human needs, and offered silent support to Sam. His friend was frantically looking into angel lore to find something to eject Michael then kill him, without having to use the archangel blade. He would sometimes ask Castiel about a part of a spell, about some translation trouble he encountered. At the same time Castiel would look out for signs of Michael, and look for weapons that could prove useful in the bunker. He never stopped and ignored the worried glances thrown his way, the only exceptions being to remind Sam or Jack to go sleeping or to eat something.

On the seventh day, he found a lead on Michael, said his goodbyes and left. He was a soldier on a mission, and he would find Michael.


End file.
